My ex and I don’t split holidays, we share them together so our daughter doesn’t have to miss out on either of us. We buy together and contribute as a whole… not a half. Usually have Sunday dinner together as well so our girl gets at least one full family meal a week. We’ve also gone places together as a family because that’s what we still are. No courts, no payments, just us being parents like we signed up to be.

But, it takes BOTH parents to get to this level. It’s not easy at first and it takes a ton of self-examination and losing of the ego (ex: hurt, anger, spite, the need to be “right”, etc…)

People ask why, if both parents can go at it like this, they just don’t get back to together…?

Waaaaaay too many variables for that to be possible to answer. The situation isn’t that black and white. My ex and I can be like this because we ARE apart. Romantic love is gone from us but the love for our child remains strong as ever and we are secure in that. – Melissa

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