Kindness Matters ❤

My story is rather long. I hope that’s ok.
Let me start by telling you about my son, Peyton James.

Peyton James was an amazing boy. He had beautiful red hair, piercing hazel eyes that changed from green to blue, and a quirky sense of humor.

He was born at 28 weeks gestation and weighed only 2.52 lbs. He spent 35 days in the NICU before being able to come home. While in the hospital, he spent 3 weeks on pure oxygen. What wasn’t known then was that the oxygen was causing a discoloration in the enamel of his permanent teeth – a problem that we wouldn’t see for several years. Because of these medications, his permanent teeth were a mottled yellow color. In second grade, the teasing began. “Why don’t you brush your teeth?” Why are your teeth so nasty?” and many other hurtful questions and comments were made. He was also picked on because of his hair, his glasses, and the fact that he was smaller than most of the other boys. He was seen as weak and became a target.

As Peyton got older, he often wondered why people were so mean to him and to others. He would ask me questions like “Mom, why can’t people just be nice?” I never really knew how to answer that question, so I tried to encourage him to be the nice one. I also told him all the things a parent tells a child – that he was special, that he was smart, that he was loved. However, as Peyton became a pre-teen, the words of a parent began to pale in comparison to the words of his peers.

In November of 2013, Peyton had his first suicidal event. He had been continually tormented by several boys at his school and the school couldn’t or didn’t help him, or at least they didn’t help him in a way that he could see and feel. After days of comments about everyone else being better off without him, I took him to the hospital. He soon began therapy and seemed to be feeling better. But this was short-lived.

In the summer of 2014, I got a new job in a better school district, but this meant Peyton would have to change schools. I tried to help him see that this was a new beginning and that the bullies from his previous school would be a thing of the past. As he started 8th grade at his new school, he met one boy with whom he had common interests and they became friends. However, the teasing and bullying continued at this school too. Peyton was an easy target because he didn’t like what other kids liked. He didn’t play sports, he loved Dr. Who, YouTube, and anime, and would rather read a book than play outside. He was soon being called a “loser” or a “geek.” He was devastated.

On October 8, after an incident at his school the day before, we came home from school. Peyton went into his room, as typical of teenage boys. I thought he just needed some time alone. After about 15 minutes, I went to check on him and found him. He had hung himself from the ceiling fan. There was no warning and no note.

After a frantic call to 911 and 25 minutes of CPR by paramedics, Peyton was transported to the local hospital and then taken by helicopter to Dell Children’s Hospital in Austin, TX. The doctors did everything they could to stabilize him and to allow him to heal, but the injury to his brain was just too severe. On October 13, 2014, at 12:02 in the morning, Peyton was pronounced brain dead. At 8:30 that night, he gave his last and most profound gift by donating his organs, corneas, and skin. He saved the lives of 6 people and enhanced the lives of countless others.

After Peyton died, I heard from the mom of one of his friends. In the days following Peyton’s death, this friend had been crying at school. The boy who had been the main bully overheard her and, instead of offering her comfort, he said, “I’m not surprised. That boy was a freak.” This broke my heart. It also made me see that this boy, and all of our kids, have never really been taught how to treat one another. We teach them to identify bullies and bullying behavior and we tell them to “be nice” but we never tell them HOW to be nice. It was from this realization that Kindness Matters was born.

Kindness Matters is now a 501c3 non-profit organization whose goal is to show people, especially young people, the power of their words. In the last year, I’ve been to over 20 schools to tell them Peyton’s story and to show them the power of their words. Through social media, we also share a Weekly Kindness Challenge that is designed to be something easy that people can do each week to be kind to those around them. We also have t-shirts and wristbands for purchase to help fund a scholarship we set up in Peyton’s name at Texas A&M in the vet school – this is where he wanted to attend.

Peyton is loved and missed by everyone who knew him and thousands of people that never had the chance to meet him. By sharing his story, my goal is to keep kids everywhere from feeling like he did and to keep moms from having to go through what I’ve been through. I hope you can help me spread this message. – Jacki James, Peyton’s mom 💗

For more information about Peyton and the work Jacki is doing to help prevent more tragedies, please visit the Kindness Matters facebook page.