How to Develop Positive Character Traits at School and Home
Inside: 7 tips for nurturing positive character traits as a collaborative effort at home and school.
How are Character Traits Developed?
Every parent wants their kids to grow up with a good set of values and positive character traits. Kindness, compassion, perseverance, honesty, and respect are just some of the traits we want to instill in our kids.
Charles Starkey, Associate Professor of Philosophy studies emotion theory and moral psychology. He says that character traits are determined by our values but that emotions also play a huge role. In short, kids need emotional intelligence and to notice and be influenced by positive character traits in others.
More...
The other critical thing is consistency. This was highlighted to me when my own kids started school. I remember feeling as if many of the positive traits I’d worked so hard to nurture were starting to slip.
I knew kids with different upbringings and values would challenge their beliefs and behavior. But the thing it emphasized the most was a need to incorporate social and emotional learning and character education in the classroom.
As a parent, you do your best to nurture good values before your kids start school. This is the basis of their character but these values you worked so hard to instill will be tested. You can't control the behavior or values of the kids they hang out with so you have let that go. But you can remind your kids of the way you like them to speak and behave, and more importantly, you can show them.
Teachers have a lot placed on their shoulders with an ever-broadening curriculum. Values education and SEL are important components of it and there are many useful resources and ideas to help you incorporate it.
Nurturing Positive Character Traits at Home and at School
Be Around Positive Role Models
It sounds pretty obvious really. When you liken a child’s brain to a sponge that soaks up information, the significance of modelling is clear. It’s important to note that the younger a child is, the more adaptable they are. Their thought processes and behaviors are more pliable which makes early exposure to positive role models essential.
Apart from being a great role model yourself, point out the positive traits of those around you. Highlight and have conversations about good things other people do. Take time to discuss what they did, why it was positive and how it made others feel. This is a great way for kids to pick up on and understand what good behavior looks like.
Acknowledge and Appreciate Good Behavior
Kids love to please the important people in their lives. When they demonstrate positive character make sure to acknowledge it. Showing you appreciate what they did or said helps kids identify what makes you proud and encourages more of it.
Teachers can use a resource that teaches, acknowledges, and rewards positive character traits.
Read Books That Help Build Character
Kids are often bombarded with negative and conflicting information that challenges their beliefs. Good books with lessons on character can help to counter these outside influences.
Create a fun routine at bedtime where you read together and discuss topics addressed in the book. Teachers use books in the classroom to enhance lessons and find use as prompts for discussions and writing activities.
Check out this reading list for great picture books.
Get Them Involved
There really is no better teacher than experience. To really embed beautiful traits like empathy, kindness, and compassion kids need to feel them. Involve your kids in kindness activities to experience the feel-good emotions produced when doing good.
Assemble backpacks or care parcels for people living on the street. This post about homelessness has lots of ideas for activities kids who want to help those less fortunate and includes a range of free checklists. To help them develop empathy, talk about what it might be like not to have a home. Talk about not having comforts like a bed, clean clothes and regular meals. Discuss how someone might become homeless. Ask them to imagine how they’d feel if it happened to them.
Free Resources for Parents:
Downloadable Resources for Teachers:
Encourage Emotional Expression
Allow your child to express their emotions without fear of disapproval. Scolding a child for showing anger or fear won’t make those feelings go away but can mean they’re suppressed. Bottled up feelings want to escape at some point and can take the form of unacceptable behavior or nightmares. Listen to and recognize your child’s emotions to validate them. This allows them to accept them, calm down and understand that challenging emotions are normal.
Explain that there's a range of emotions that everyone feels. They’re all natural and it’s healthy to express them so they can process them and move on. Having emotional intelligence helps kids understand when and where they're able to express their emotions freely and when they need to control them.
Talk About It
We often take it for granted that kids know what they're feeling. This isn't always the case which can be why they may not express themselves appropriately. If you see your child is struggling with an emotion, talk about it. Ask about the feelings they’re experiencing. Talk about what happened to make them feel that way and help them label the emotion and find a way to deal with it.
These emotional regulation printables can be very helpful!
Talk to Your Teacher
If you're concerned about your child's values slipping, it's worth talking to your teacher. Have a conversation at the start of the year to explain your values and expectations. Ask your teacher how you can help ensure the values that are important to you are reinforced at school. Please remember that teachers may be unaware of behaviors outside of the classroom.
If you assist at school, offer to help with kindness activities or read books about caring, friendship, or bullying. If you're on a parents' committee, help start a kindness club.
Building positive character traits is a collaborative effect between parents and teachers. Working together to reinforce kindness, caring, and empathy both at school and home helps to imprint these values on the hearts of our children.


You May Also Like...


AUTHOR: Lisa Currie - Ripple Kindness Project
Lisa is passionate about contributing to a happier world by building emotional intelligence in kids through fun and engaging social-emotional learning resources. Her core value is kindness as she believes it to be the “mother” of all character traits. She started Ripple Kindness Project to spread kindness in schools and communities. She is also the founder and director of an outreach program that supports disadvantaged families.