No gifts for her birthday
This past week was M’s birthday. When friends or family members ask me what she wants for her birthday, my answer is usually, “Time”.
This year, M asked us to play at her favorite playground. She asked us to go swimming at the local indoor pool. She asked to share a pizza with her grandparents and to make enchiladas and ice cream cake with a few of her friends from school. And that…was it! No toys. No gadgets. No themed, decorated party with an agenda and entertainment. Just time with friends and family.
When M was a baby, my husband and I made an intentional, and often socially challenging, decision. We decided to celebrate holidays by spending time together instead of purchasing gifts. This has led to more than a few awkward conversations come birthday and Christmas time, but this year my mom did something that almost brought me to tears; something that showed me that those conversations are important and valuable.
First, she changed her question. Instead of asking M what she wanted for her birthday, this year my mom asked her:
“If someone wanted to make you something for your birthday, what would you like them to make?”
The grandparents all came to share pizza with us today. When she came, my mom delivered this beautiful basket full of M’s favorite homemade treats! M was so excited, she counted every last one.
The treats may only last a few days. The basket will probably be repurposed for pretend play and remind her of her birthday, but I guarantee the memory of Grandma sharing a pizza with her and making treats for her will stay with M for a very long time. – Crystal, Playful Solutions, LLC