“I Wish My Teacher Knew” is The Most Important Prompt for Your Students

When I was eleven, my mum, sister, and I moved back to Australia after living in Sweden for a few years. Kids start school at seven over there, and I was in fourth grade when we left.

Swedish had become my first language, so my English was more than a little rusty. When I was placed in a sixth-grade classroom halfway through the year, I didn’t just feel behind - I felt invisible.

Everyone else was settled into their routines, got all the jokes, and knew the way things worked. I was still trying to follow conversations and understand instructions. In short, I was struggling.

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What on earth is a noun and a verb? Everyone else seemed to work through the lesson with ease, but I hadn’t learned about them in Sweden.

I went to school every day feeling scared and anxious. It was exhausting, and honestly, really lonely.

My teacher was a grumpy middle-aged man. He never checked on me or asked how I was doing. He just expected me to keep up and had no idea how vulnerable I was. I didn’t need much from him. Just a moment. A smile. A question. A sign that someone saw me.

It’s easy to assume that students who are distracted, disruptive, or withdrawn just need to focus more or try harder. But what if their behavior isn’t defiance or laziness, but a signal that something deeper is going on?

When kids are carrying emotional weight, like stress at home, friendship problems, anxiety, or grief, learning becomes incredibly hard. Their brains are focused on survival, not spelling. That pain might come out as talking back, shutting down, refusing to participate, or being the class clown. But behind the behavior is a child who needs to be seen.

That’s why the “I wish my teacher knew” prompt is so powerful. It gives students a safe way to share what they might not otherwise say. Sometimes they just need someone to ask. 

In her TEDx talk, I Wish My Teacher Knew by Kyle Schwartz, you'll see how a simple prompt helped this teacher understand her students on a deeper level. If you haven’t seen it yet, you'll be glad you took the time (you might want to grab a tissue). 

Kyle gave her students one simple prompt: “What do you wish your teacher knew about you?”

The answers to this emotional check-in were powerful, heartbreaking, and full of honesty. It opened a window into her students' lives and started a global movement of teachers doing the same.

Why This is Such a Powerful Question 

Asking a simple question like “What do you wish I knew?” could be a life-changing moment for one of your students.

I wish one of my own teachers had taken the time to ask me. Maybe then, those lonely and painful school years wouldn’t have impacted my emotional wellbeing so much. Maybe there could have been moments that became cherished memories instead.

This message also brings to mind another story that’s stayed with me, the one about Teddy Stoddard. It’s a beautiful reminder of how a caring teacher helped turn a struggling boy’s life around, just by choosing to see what others had missed.

When Struggles Show Up as Behavior

Not every student will come right out and say what they’re going through. Some kids can’t put it into words. Others are too scared to speak up. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be seen.

Instead of telling you with words, students often show you through their behavior. A child who keeps interrupting or walking out of class might not be looking for attention; they might be looking for safety. The one who always seems angry or never hands in work might be dealing with something stressful at home.

This is where emotional check-ins are powerful. What looks like defiance or disrespect is often something much deeper. Many students experiencing anxiety, grief, or stress don’t show it through tears. These kids may become silent, withdrawn, or disruptive instead. 

When we pause and ask ourselves, “What’s really going on underneath this behavior?”, we open the door to understanding. We remind ourselves that connection comes before correction.

That’s why using a simple prompt like “What I wish my teacher knew about me” can be such a powerful tool. It gives students a safe and private way to share what they might never say out loud. It helps you see the human behind the behavior, and often, that’s the moment when things start to shift.

How to Use This Prompt in Your Classroom

Here are some simple ways to use this prompt to gain insights into your students' fears or struggles. 

Follow-Up With an Emotional Check-In

Be sure to follow up when a student shares something personal, especially if there are hints of a struggle, stress, or the need for help. 

Quietly take them aside when you have the time to give them your undivided attention and thank them for their note. Let them know you appreciate that they trusted you and that you’re there to support them. A small and private moment of connection can help a student feel safe, valued, and supported.

If the note is anonymous and something serious is shared, speak to the class as a whole about support services, open-door policies, and make it clear that you're always there to listen. The anonymous ones could be testing the waters to see if it’s safe to speak.

Other Ways to Show Your Students You See Them

The I Wish My Teacher Knew activity is just one of many little moments that help children feel seen, valued, and safe in your classroom.

Connection doesn’t always require a deep conversation. A small gesture, like a smile when they walk in, noticing their effort, or a quiet word of encouragement, is often all a child needs. These simple things show them that you see them and care. They can help your students trust you and give them the courage to share on their own.

Here are a few other simple and effective ways to show your students you’re paying attention:

Whether it’s through a heartfelt note, a character award, or just remembering what they told you yesterday, these little emotional check-ins are important. They build a connection, and that connection builds confidence.

Letting your students know, “I see you. I care,” might be the most important lesson they take from you this year.

Creating a Safe Culture for Sharing

Students need to feel emotionally safe before they're willing to open up through something like the “Things I Wish My Teacher Knew” activity. If you ask a question that makes them feel too vulnerable, and the classroom climate doesn’t support honest answers, most kids will protect themselves by staying silent, or writing something surface-level that feels safe.

Creating a space where students can share honestly doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being consistent, calm, and showing you're human and trustworthy.

Here are a few ways to gently build trust over time:

When students feel safe, truly safe, they’re more likely to say what they need. And when you listen, even quietly, you’re building a foundation of trust that supports learning, behavior, and lifelong connection.

What to Do with What They Share

When you invite students to share something personal, it’s natural to wonder what to do if they reveal something big, sad, or worrying.

The first step is simple but powerful. You must honor their trust. Whether their note is anonymous or signed, lighthearted or heartbreaking, they’ve taken a risk, and they need to feel safe with your response.

Here are some ideas to help shape your response:

Some students won’t want to talk further, and that’s okay. What matters most is that they know they can come to you and that you understand their struggles. These quiet, caring moments often become the turning points students remember for years to come.

Final Thoughts

I often wonder how different those years might have been for me if just one of my teachers had simply asked, “Is there anything you wish I knew?” or taken the time to read my file to see what I'd been through.

Just a few minutes getting to know me and making a connection might have been enough. Enough to feel safe, to feel seen, to believe that someone cared, and that I had an ally. Enough to have fond memories of school.

The “I Wish My Teacher Knew” activity is a small step, but sometimes the smallest steps are the ones that stay with us forever. You don’t need a big display or a perfectly crafted system. Just a quiet moment and an open heart.

Your students might not remember the math lesson or the book report when they look back one day, but they will remember how good it felt to be in your classroom.