My Memory Rocks
As a young unprepared mother of severely medically challenged daughters, life was full of daily letdowns. Handling two of the most dazzlingly beautiful princesses with the same diagnosis and prognosis was life-changing in all possible ways.
Each moment had new perspectives to offer. I saw most I knew turn their backs and walk away. I saw ostracization due to my daughter’s condition. People were not comfortable meeting them and some even treated them as a bad omen.
As the primary caregiver, I was truly in for the long haul. Both my daughters Rumaisa forever 8 and Zara forever 5 left the world very early and though a cliche “the smallest coffins are the heaviest”. Grief overwhelmed me!!!
Aside from being exposed to the harshest realities of life, I did encounter certain random acts of kindness which remained with me and gave me the courage to keep moving forward. Be it a nurse who sat with me for nights at the end to console me to the ladies (perfect strangers) who attended my daughter Rumaisa in hospital, changing her clothes and diapers etc. Some kind hearts even left dolls and other stuffed toys with Rumaisa out of pure compassion.
Countless other strangers with their numerous deeds of kindness made me realize that true compassion is the only way forward. A realization that I had to be open to the suffering in others as well as myself to be able to attempt to alleviate it.
This caused a fundamental change in how I did things. I had to be the change I wanted to see. I came across the “International kindness rock movement” and was hooked. I was never an artist, did not even know how to hold a brush.
My earliest strokes into the unknown world of rock painting clearly depict a very rocky start. However, the idea to give someone a smile or connecting with those suffering disease or other challenges through painted rocks in an attempt to cheer them up became a motivating tool for me. I targeted inclusion and promoted special needs awareness.
I now make rocks to promote inclusion and for those who have any illness, disabilities, mental health conditions, the ones who have suffered bullying and to honour the brave martyrs and their families who gave the supreme sacrifice in the line of duty.
I do not charge for anything. I give them out as an act of kindness to make people smile and cheer them up. I have placed rocks at appropriate locations for parents in other parts of the world who have endured child loss, sending them an image of the rock drop with a brief description of the site to honour their dear departed Angels. To many, this introduces them to a softer image of Pakistan.
These painted rocks have paved a path for me to overcome the rejection my daughters faced, the grief I face due to their untimely departure, and the apathy of society in general.
To use Nelson Mandela’s words “As I painted these rocks that led to my freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison”.
Rumaisa and Zara’s kindness rocks have truly set me free. I created a legacy for my beautiful daughters and my daughter’s names lives on.
Though rejected in their lives it’s by the names of Rumaisa and Zara that the world now knows me. – Sadaf