I am a very private person and have really never believed that we should talk about what we do to help other people because our rewards will be in heaven. I have to tell you that I no longer think this way.
About 7 month ago I lost my only child and my husband due to a drunken driving accident. My husband had to pick up our daughter from work. It was around 10pm on a Friday night. They were almost home when a car slammed into them killing my husband on impact and my daughter was trapped in the car. When I arrived the police tried to get me away but I pushed right through and when I got to the car, I knew my husband was dead and I knew that my little girl would not make it. I asked the fireman if I could hold her hand and talk to her. About 2 hours into this nightmare I could sense that she was not going to make it. I told her that I loved her and my life was blessed because she was here. She said to me that she loved me and then she said the strangest thing. She said you have to forgive this person and use my death for a greater purpose. I looked at her and said ok. She died in the car before they could get her out.
Imagine my horror when I looked over and saw the young man being pulled out of his car and to my surprise he looked as though he had no injuries. I started to scream at him and call him all kinds of names. I really do not remember much after that. A policeman drove me home and it seems as though the next few days are a blur.
My mom and dad were here the next day. My father is a preacher and mom is the kindest lady that I have ever met. After the funerals I started talking to my dad about what had happened and he told me that I needed to be thankful that God had blessed me with the time that I had with my husband and daughter. My father took a leave of absence from the church to help me get everything done. About three months after their death I woke up and I saw both my husband and my daughter before me. They both said if I am unwilling to forgive this person then I will wear this ball and chain called hate for the rest of my life. I have never really come to grips with if I saw them or dreamed it but either way I know that God had sent them. It was 3am and I went into where my mom and dad were supposed to be sleeping and both of them were wide awake. I said I have something to say and they said they did also. For you see that night we were all visited by angles and we were all told that we needed to forgive and move on.
My dad said to me that the amount of hate that he had in his heart was for this person was horrible. He said not only did he take my only grandchild but he took one of my very best friends. We all agreed that night that we would go see this man tomorrow. We went to the jail and asked if we could see him and we were told they would ask him. Before the officer went to ask him if it would be alright he turned to us and said please go easy on him because he had tried to commit suicide twice since he was arrested.
We met in a jail room and when he walked in I realized that he was just a boy. We began to speak with him to find out what happened and he told us his story. I just turned 17 last week. I said to him that this must be hard on your parents and he said no because they are both dead. I lost my father in the war and my mother had just passed away of breast cancer the night that this happened. He went on to tell us how sorry he was and he did not want to live because of what he had done. What came out of my mouth shocked me when I said we forgive you and we do love you. We talked for over two hours and when we got ready to leave I said to him you can not commit suicide because we have to make sure that my family did not die in vain.
We went to his court date and we think we shocked everyone when we were call for a defense witness. I told them that we did not want him to do jail time but he needed to use his life for good and we feel that when you look at this young man’s history you will find that he had never been in trouble. As I walked by him to go to my seat I leaned over and gave him a hug. I told him this is the kind of love that God has for us and you need to show this to everyone that you meet. He got sentenced to 3 years and we write a lot. I have told him when he gets out I will be here to help him get his life back in order. This is a little note to every kid out there who doesn’t believe that this could happen to them. I have killed two people and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I now have a felony on my record and this will keep me from getting a job. I will lose over four years of my life which is nothing to being killed.
DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE because it will ruin your life and the lives of many other people.
A mom that lost it all and who has been given a chance to understand what God pure love is all about.